Traci Ashbe Dark Epic Fantasy Author

I always joke that my driver’s license makes me look like one of the peoples from Wall-e. You remember the chair-bound peoples? Yeah, in my license photo, my face is round and huge and peachy and my hair is straight. We’re not allowed to smile at the BMV now, so I’m basically featureless. The Mister’s photo is equally bad. Looking at our licenses side-by-side, it’s amazing those two people found one another and did not make babies with giant peach heads and beady lil eyes.

But you know those moments when you turn on your phone and you’re like — well, like me last night — one big blue blob of sweater like someone didn’t case the pillow right? Lumps of generous curves. Loose breasts and a mother’s apron plopped onto the sofa like a stack of ice cream scoops. Pointy chin shining like the star of the show, and…